My name Bi Bra Mate, Respect My Office

Mate no be easy job at all my paddy. You dey shout make passengers come tap your troski inside, you dey fight station masters den help your master dodge koti. You dey add plus minus, den times plus divide money all the time wey you san dey watch passengers we dey giddown, or enter di bus, or even change demma place so say dem no go pay lorryfare.

E hard waa, dat bi why  I no dey get pipo wey dey get angry if I ask where dem go giddown again. Sometimes them go biz me say dem tok nu I no hear? Anaa I dey bed for the job top? You bore too a them go tok say the customer always right, that matter diε one day we go talk am well. Riddee I no get plenty time, my boss go chop finish ridee, so I wan tell you  some tins we customers dey do wey dey funny me or bore me sometimes.

1. Pipo wey no dey pεt

Last time some small boy bi come tap wana troski inside, some nyatinyati boy bi o. If I born early a, like my kiddie sef grow pass am. Guy, the boy tap for back seat o, wey e shout,

“Mate! My change!”

Herh the tin go me waa. I tell am say e do a, e for respect people wey grow pass am. I tok am say e for call me ‘Bra Mate’ san add ‘please’ to what e tok. “Charle, commotion pae! the troski inside turn butubutu. The old pipo all dey gree plus me, e lef one woman bi pε o.Ein pε collect the matter for ein eye under. E say e gree say the kiddie for add please but e nor for add Bra biaa sake of Mate bi title. Wey e san ask me say if I go hospital a, I dey call the Doctor ‘Bra Doctor’ anaa?

Herh I conf! The woman use format bab me one time. That gbεkεtee I go the Café we dey for my junction top wey I ask Akoto, the guy wey dey run the place say make e print something give me. I tok say make ein print

MY NAME BI BRA MATE

RESPECT MY OFFICE

 No be ein norr dat? People dey tink say them be quick, dem nor kno  say I bi hurry up.

2. Pipo wey dey wan teach you blε

E do a, dem wan tell you how you for do your work sef. Like di oda day this chick tell me say e go drop for Jah Love. Bet the way ein tok di tin I no fi hear sef. Ein mention am some kain way be lidat. Ebi the guy wey dey tap by am who mention am make I hear well. I tell am say e do dem for open demma mouth tok well. There norr shoddy turn professor. She say we mmom we no dey tok am well. E do a these chicks dem dey tink say we no tap class before eh, so dem wan rush us. I take am go school one time.

“when you be kiddie, when your teacher tok  s + o what you say?”

“so”

“correct! Then l+ o too bi what”

“lo”

“Ehenn! Ok Lo + ve bi what? No be love?”

Charle the shoddy start dey laugh me o. She say make I mention the o in love like a, so say sound like Jah lav.  Then I start dey bore come so I tell am say dat bi what my teacher teach me. If she no go gree a when we catch the junction make e no giddown. Aloo gyee nakain?

3. People wey dey use earphones for troski inside

No bro dey bore me pass menners wey dey block demma ears for troski inside. Wey kain life dat? When you tok “yeiiis” dem no dey hear. When you shout demma junction, dem no go hear. When you call demma change sef dem no go biz.

Later later dem go tok say you carry demma money comot! Sia lidat, nanka wat dem dey wan make I do plus am? Post am or momo am? If dem lef demma change a, dey way my eye  e get! Sometimes dem go see you like three days later come kai you say demma money dey you. Hmph play dey demma eye top.

Infact I for make Akoto print another sign give me. I go tell am say make e write “IF YOU DON’T COLLECT YOUR CHANGE BEFORE YOU GET DOWN IT EXPIE” Akoto be sharp guy,  e go do am jεjε. The Accra we dey no, we all dey hustle, if you wan dash me cash a, why my eye no for get? Me koraa I wan sell credit for the troski inside, if you make yawa I go use your money make capital.

E check like my Boss finish ein fufu, I for go riddee. Abi you know dada, when you tap wana troski inside a  make you call me Bra Mate. Charle we go crush.